Wanna be happy?

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Wanna be happy? Below are 5 steps that I have taken in order to stop allowing people and circumstances boss my emotions around.

1) A chief reason why many people aren’t happy is because their expectations do not meet their reality. I believe that we often get lost in wanting the next best thing or comparing ourselves to what we believe others have and this leads us to feel inadequate and discontent with our lives. Newsflash: please know that most people are never going to share the low points of their lives with you and certainly not going to share them on their social media (don’t compare their highlights with your every day). Now it’s good to have a vision (e.g. that dream job or dream car or dream partner), however do not allow your vision to take away from where you are right now. Just remember that this season of your life is just as important. Just think of your now as your stepping-stones to what you want for the future and just remember that God places you in every situation for a reason. So learn from your current season, enjoy it, embrace everything about it!

‘To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven’ {Ecclesiastes 3:1}

Another point I want to make is do not allow your expectations to steal your joy! We often have expectations for our family and friends. My advice? Lower those expectations or stop expecting and allow them to surprise you. If you can’t lower these expectations, at least inform them of what you expect from your relationship, otherwise they’ll probably fail to reach them (it’s like repeatedly failing a test because you don’t know what you’re even been marked on) and this just leads to constant disappointment and dissatisfaction.

2) Take time out for you! I alluded to this in Is This Life? We can often get so caught up that we don’t take time out for ourselves. We are constantly having to please others, to be that supportive sibling or that great partner or perfect child or dedicated parent. Sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves. Dedicate moments where you go for a simple walk or chill in a coffee shop or travel somewhere alone. Just do something different.

3) Remove nonsense people from your life. And by nonsense people I mean people who constantly bringing you down or holding you back. Think about it, if you’re constantly drained being in one’s company, that’s not healthy and certainly not helping you. Is it your aim to be positive? Stop hanging out with negative people. You’re depressed? Stop hanging out with people who are constantly moaning and sad. Want to stop gossiping? Stop hanging out with people who are constantly talking badly about others. Energy is infectious, the energy of those around you effects you. They say show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.

‘But if I keep on giving my heart
For people to tear apart
The healing will never start
So I can be happy’ 

Kirk Franklin

4) Stop thinking things will make you happy! Material possessions can only do so much. A new dress or a new shirt will only bring you temporary joy. If anything having so many possessions will only clutter up your house. Don’t be that rich guy who has every material possession he could think of, but is still dissatisfied, because he’s spent so much time trying to attain money, but no time building relationships (remember the prodigal son?), which I would argue to a large extent happiness lies. We were made to be social beings.

‘Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.’ {Matthew 6:19}

5) Have a purpose! Living without purpose is aimless and at times may even seem pointless. Having purpose gives us direction (what do you think targets are all about?) and can help us to endure nearly anything. Whatever you’re going through, you can often view it as a means to an end because you have that purpose as your foundation.

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‘I just wanna be happy
But if I keep on doing the things
That keep on bringing me pain
There’s no one else I can blame
If I’m not happy
Wasted time but now I can see
The biggest enemy, it was me
So I’m not happy’ 

Kirk Franklin

I hope implementing these principles will bring some level of joy to your lives X

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