Do you like the idea of a relationship more than the actual relationship?

So Valentine’s day has come and gone. You may be thinking, ‘Olivia Valentine’s day was a very long time ago?’ True, however I wrote the first paragraph of this 7 months ago and have only just decided to finish lol. But every year Valentine’s day comes along. And just as Christmas seems to make people feel extra lonely, if they don’t have that intimate cuddly family, I believe Valentine’s day ignites a similar feeling in singles.

I believe when Millennials think about relationships (when we’re daydreaming about our future bae and potential relationship) we often think about the Instagram unreality of ‘couple goals.’ We think about the good and rarely the bad. For example, we’re likely to think about sipping hot chocolate with cuddles, the matching gym outfits, running in the rain holding hands, the intimacy, the butterflies, the cute dates, the cute notes, the cute gifts, the cute pictures (and all those social media likes…)

We rarely think about the disagreements, the potential tears, the potential heartbreak. Essentially we do not think about the hard times. While I believe it’s great to be optimistic concerning relationships, we should also build realistic expectations, because nothing is perfect and building a perfect picture with zero flaws, may just lead to disappointment.

I always say concerning relationships, that we give someone the permission to bring us the most joy, but also to cause us the most pain. Relationships are a risk! In my opinion? A risk worth taking. And to my Christians brothers and sisters, let me add, worth taking after seeking God’s counsel concerning the person of interest.

I believe that a lot of us Millennials were brought up subconsciously on Disney’s philosophy of ‘happily ever after’… Which is fine, until you realise that happily ever after within a relationship, in reality, means compromise or finding a middle ground. Happily ever after within a relationship means unselfishness. Happily ever after means having a love which is patient, hopeful, not punishing and persevering.

Hopefully this has been food for thought? So I will ask you again… Do you like the idea of a relationship, more than the actual reality of one? Are you basing your ideas of relationships off social media? Or are you ready for the (hopefully only occasional) storms that may come along with it? Relationships can be beautiful, which is something I want to stress. But relationships tend to adhere to that beauty when both parties are ready. Ready to place each others needs before their own. Because if you’re both loving one another in that unselfish manner, giving each other what you each need … it simply works beautifully.

‘Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.’

{Ephesians 5:22, 25, 28}

 

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