Stop getting caught up with ‘haters’

Define hater (urban dictionary): ‘A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.’

Again and again I’m seeing captions on Instagram posts saying things like ‘haters gonna hate’ or ‘this is me saying bye to my haters.’

I sometimes ask whether these people really have haters or do they just think they have haters? Are their ‘haters’ too busy working on themselves to scroll angrily past that post directed at them? Like how much time and energy are we expelling on ‘haters’?

I know it can really get to us when someone doesn’t like us, especially when they won’t admit it and are seemingly fake. I was coming back from placement the other day when two females (who were talking fairly loudly) were having a conversation about why they weren’t invited to some popular individuals birthday party, though people from a different course of study were invited.

One of the girls said ‘I knew one of them didn’t like me, I still can’t figure out which one though.’ If she’d been my friend I’d tell her to stop even trying to figure it out. If you’re picking up bad vibes from certain individuals either learn to accept it or have a grown conversation with them regarding it.

What you shouldn’t do is expel time and energy, racking your braid regarding what you’ve done wrong and questioning why they don’t like you and trying to change yourself as a result. If you change for every person who doesn’t like you, there will soon be none of you left.

I think as females especially it’s hard for us when we think someone doesn’t like us. Why? Probably because society has conditioned us to have this desire to be likeable, to speak a bit softer, to take on more of a typical feminine approach. Which I’m not mad at (in fact I embrace it), until it conditions our minds into thinking there is a problem with not being liked. Especially not being liked for staying true to yourself.

Lets talk Rihanna for a moment. Over the past years she’s become the name in everyones mouth. And why? I don’t believe that this is just due to her style or her voice or her Fenty beauty make-up.

I believe that it is because she is unapologetically herself. She does what she wants, stays true to herself and seemingly does not give a damn what any perceived ‘haters’ think. This attitude is inspiring.

Be like Rihanna. The carefree, ignore the haters… in fact ‘what haters?’ side of Rihanna.

Focus on you. Invest less time in thinking what others think about you and invest that time in your life. Just do you.

Galatians 5:10 ‘I have confidence in you through the Lord, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be.’


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